25 things I have learned from Stargate

1. If at first you don't succeed, use a bigger gun.
2. No matter how much ammo you use, you always have one clip left.
3. Keep track of how many times you've been hit by Zat blasts: this is 
   VERY important.
4. No matter what you do, the guys left to guard the gate will get shot up 
5. When in doubt, empty your magazine.
6. When fighting Replicators, shoot first, shoot later, shoot some more, 
   and make sure you have one of those nifty magazines with infinite rounds.
7. Don't leave people behind, unless they aren't a member of SG-1 or any of 
   their personal friends.
8. If Carter is in love: avoid like the plague.
9. People who fall for Daniel tend to have a fondness for glowing eyes and 
   deep voices. Only exception is if they have a cute nickname...like 
   'destroyer of worlds'. 
10. If Felger has finished his latest experiment; be sure to be out of 
    the blast radius.
11. If it glows it is usually a bad thing.
12. If you are the 'fifth SG-1 member of the day' prepare to be wounded - 
    if you're lucky.
13. Death Gliders have the right of way.
14. Don't look conspicuous, it draws fire; for this reason, having a bald, 
    strong man with a gold tattoo who caries a large staff everywhere, on 
    your team may be a bad idea.
15. The gate will stay on indefinitely unless you want it too.
16. MALP's cost a lot of money, therefore use them for cover (the producers 
    won't want to blow them up.)
17. If it's alien and has USAF written on it, don't get in it.
18. Always wear an SG-1 patch; you last longer that way.
19. Make sure you're in a JAFFA'S DIRECT LINE OF FIRE AND HE'LL HIT THE 
20. 'Bow before your God' is just another way of saying: 'I'm evil: Shoot me'.
21. Jaffa First Primes always have a big sign saying 'I'm the leader!' 
    It's gold and it's on their head: Aim for it!
22. If the plan is going exceptionally well, you're walking into an ambush.
23. Just remember, your helmet will give you extra protection but it 
    makes you look like a dork.
24. To take down a wraith you will require one extra round you don't have.
25. Never trust a Goa'uld.