TITLE: Going to the Zoo Reviews
AUTHOR: Roeskva
CATEGORY: Fluff/humour, short story
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters and places are the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret Productions. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment only and not monetary purposes and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks was intended. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.
SUMMARY: Jacob/Selmak takes Mark's children to the Zoo
CHARACTERS: Jacob/Selmak
STATUS: Complete
SPOILERS: "Seth" - but only because that's where we learn about Mark's children. Tok'ra episodes.
AUTHORS NOTES: * denotes thoughts or host/symbiote communication.

*Remind me again why we're doing this?* Jacob gave the long line before them a long-suffering look.

*You wanted to spend more time with your grandchildren and Mark suggested the Zoo. The children heard and you did not have the heart to say no to them.*

*Yeah, well...I must be growing soft in my old age. I hate Zoo's!*

*Come on - it will be fun!* Selmak sounded enthusiastic. *I, for one, are very much looking forward to this experience. Especially this 'petting ZOO' your granddaughter has been talking about.*

They had finally reached the entrance and Jacob paid for their tickets. They were barely inside before his eager grandchildren began pulling him in the direction of whatever it was they wanted to see first.

*Selmak! We're not going in there. It's only for the kids - and besides, there are goats in there and they are evil and smelly...and they will eat our clothes first chance they get!*

*Please? Just for a little while?*

*No...and that's final.*

They walked around the Zoo for some time. Selmak was sulking and Jacob irritated.

"Can we go see the tigers now, granddad?" His granddaughter, Lisa, begged.

"No! I wanna go see the elephants...pleeease?" William complained. "Tigers are stupid."

"Tigers are way cooler than elephants! They...aaugh...William is pulling my hair. GRANDPA!" Lisa tried pushing William away.

"Stop it!" Jacob was starting to feel seriously pissed. He loved his grandchildren, but this...he grabbed one of them in each hand and held them apart. "Don't fight - or we're going home. Right now!"

*What if we all went to get something to eat? We're getting hungry you know...that's probably why the children are fighting. I might even let you have something unhealthy, like a hot dog...all you have to do is agree to let me go to the petting Zoo...*

Jacob was tempted, but not ready to surrender yet. *Two - with a coke!*

Selmak cringed. *You know who gets to do damage control...*

*Deal or not?*


Jacob turned to his grandchildren, suddenly smiling. "Why don't we go and have something to eat. Want hot dogs, kids?"

"Yaaaaay!" Lisa began jumping up and down, excitedly.

"I wanna go see the elephants!" William insisted.

"When we have eaten. Promise. Aren't you hungry?"

William looked sly. "Can I have ice cream as well?"

"Absolutely. In fact, we'll all have ice cream!"

*Jacob! We did not agree on that!*

*We can't make the kids unhappy. I promised them.*

Selmak mentally rolled her eyes, but conceded. *All right, but it will cost you...*

Jacob ignored her and they all went to get hot dogs, soft drinks, and ice cream. While they ate, he suspected Selmak secretly enjoyed the unhealthy food, especially the ice cream. She was suspiciously quiet.

They spent several hours walking around the Zoo and looking at all the many different animals. Seeing how happy the children were, Jacob found he enjoyed himself. He even accepted the petting Zoo without complaints, though Selmak was the one in control most of the time. She adored both the goats and the rabbits - and even the nasty llama which tried to spit at them.

Finally on their way out, they were standing in the gift shop. In a soft moment Jacob had agreed to let the children have a stuffed animal each, and they were now hunting for just the right one. It appeared to be difficult for the children to choose just one. Jacob considered sitting down on a nearby bench and relax when Selmak made a surprising demand.

*I want a stuffed animal as well.*

*You're kidding, right?* Jacob asked in disbelief.

*That is the price for all the ice cream you ate. My pay for making sure it does not clog up your arteries and put fat on your stomach.*

Jacob sighed. *All right, but so help me if you pick something cute and fluffy! I'm going to...*

*Of course I want something cute and fluffy! That is the whole point of stuffed animals!*

*You're a 2000 year old member of an illegal, underground resistance! You've fought guys more evil than most people can even imagine! You've...been tortured! And now you want a furry toy?*

*How does my career choice affect my right to a stuffed animal? Garshaw is going to be so envious!*

*It doesn't. Never mind...just don't mention this to Garshaw - or anyone else in the tunnels for that matter!*

Selmak looked at the selection. *Do you like rabbits?*

*Yes. I love rabbits - stewed with mushrooms and herbs.*

*Barbarian!* Selmak scoffed and put back the rabbit. She grabbed a panda instead. *I'm taking this one - unless you like them roasted!*

*I might...but unfortunately they are a protected species...* Jacob grinned, earning him a strange look from the others in the store. *Let's take that and leave. Lisa and William have already chosen their toys and are waiting impatiently for us.*

They paid and left the store, to drive back to Mark's place. Dinner was waiting for them, and they were a little late. Jacob smiled to himself. He had to admit it had been a nice day after all.