TITLE: The First Kiss Reviews
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters and places are the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret Productions. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment only and not monetary purposes and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks was intended. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.
SUMMARY: Written for the Spring 2010 Stargate Second Lives at phoenix-gate. Prompt: Jolinar of Malkshur/Samantha Carter/Martouf/Lantash. First kiss. AU. Jolinar survived the attack by the ashrak (O'Neill and the others stopped the ashrak before he had time to wound her mortally). She and Sam have spent some time recuperating, then being interrogated by the NID. Finally, more than a month after Sam became Jolinar's host, they are being allowed to go to meet the Tok'ra and maybe ally with them.
CHARACTERS: Sam, Jolinar, Martouf, Lantash
SPOILERS: "In the Line of Duty", "Tok'ra I & II".
It had been two days since she and her team had traveled here to this planet, to meet her symbiote's people. Jolinar's people. The Tok'ra.
Sam looked around at the blue-grey crystals and thought about her life. While she was getting used to the fact she was now a host, there were still instances where it all seemed strange and surreal to her. This was definitively one of those.
Jolinar had not fully blended with her. At first, Sam had been adamant about Jolinar getting a new host. Now she was no longer so sure. She had to admit she was getting used to having Jolinar to talk to - and even that she would miss her when...if she left her.
Then there were these mates Jolinar had. Martouf and Lantash. The symbiote wanted very much to continue her relationship with them. Sam could feel it, especially when they were talking to them.
It was a strange feeling. Often it was almost as if it was her emotions. As if she, Sam, was having these feelings for them even though she had just met them. As if she had felt like this for years.
She was not sure how she felt about that. Yes, they were attractive, she could not deny that. Attractive and kind. They had been so sweet and thoughtful towards her, even though she knew they were hurting over Rosha's death.
Currently, Jolinar was giving Sam some privacy, in order to let her think all of this through on her own. She was closing herself out, so that Sam had a chance to determine what she wanted, without feeling pressured.
Sam stretched luxuriously. She was sitting in one of the Tok'ra pools, trying to relax and clear her head. So much had happened during these two days, and there were many new things to get used to.
All the Tok'ra knew Jolinar, of course. They had all been introduced to her new host, so now they were greeting Sam as if they were old friends. It felt strange. This would change if they blended, Jolinar said. Then she would recognize them all. Know them all.
As if this was not enough, there was also this 'humming' or 'tickling' sensation emanating from all around them. It was coming from both the naquadah in much of the technology, as well as from the many symbiotes everywhere around them.
Sam had found this more than a little unnerving at first. On Earth, it has mostly only been the Stargate itself, Teal'c, and a few items like zat'nik'tels that gave off this feeling. Here it was everywhere. Constantly.
Pondering it, she realized it no longer bothered her. Whether it was because she was getting used to it, or it was the influence of Jolinar - the symbiote strongly connected the feeling with home and safety - the fact was that Sam was starting to feel it was comforting.
She thought back to what had happened when they had just arrived.
They had quickly been surrounded by guards, who had asked many questions.
Feeling reasonably certain Jolinar was who she said she was, the guards had taken them all down into the tunnels.
Jolinar and Sam had been interrogated further, to make sure Jolinar was Jolinar. Then they had been taken before the council. Here they had been asked what had felt like an unending stream of questions, both about Jolinar's mission and about why she had been away for so long; what had happened when Rosha was killed; and how Sam had become her host.
Finally they had been excused, and Jolinar had gone to talk to her mates.
They had been very relieved and happy Jolinar had survived and had returned to them, but at the same time they grieved for Rosha. Sam still remembered the mixed expression of pain and relief on their face, when they realized Jolinar had a new host.
They had talked for a long time, mostly with Jolinar, but also some with Sam.
Jolinar had explained that Sam did not know for certain she would remain her host. Sam could see Martouf and Lantash did not understand how she could not want to be a Tok'ra, but they - as Jolinar - respected her wish to not indulge in any strong displays of affection. At least until she had decided.
Sam felt a stab of pain when she remembered the stricken look on their face, when she had not wanted Jolinar to kiss them. She really felt sorry for them - and looking back at the incidence, it suddenly seemed to her that she had been unfair. She was happy she had at least agreed to let Jolinar embrace them.
She thought about how it had felt. Jolinar had embraced them warmly, and love and desire had emanated from her. Sam had initially felt awkward, but that had disappeared almost immediately. By the time Jolinar let go of them, Sam was already missing their touch.
It was clear her's and Jolinar's feelings were beginning to merge, despite the fact they were not blended yet. Jolinar had problems blocking out her emotions whenever she was thinking about Martouf and Lantash - which was currently very often - and it had been even more pronounced when she had embraced them.
At first, Sam had told herself that was all it was - Jolinar's emotions flowing over and affecting her briefly. Now she was no longer so sure.
Thinking about them, she got a warm feeling in her entire body and her heart beat a little faster. Was she really falling in love with them? This quickly? Probably it was at least to some degree triggered by Jolinar's feelings, but wherever they originally came from, the emotions were there - and she had to admit she was feeling them herself.
Of course, this was just one more reason why she wanted to remain Jolinar's host. If she had to be honest - and she ought to be, at least to herself - she had known she did not want the symbiote to leave, even before they came here. This only confirmed it. She realized it was time to tell Jolinar.
Sam got out of the water and found a towel. She began drying herself off as she considered what to say.
It took a short moment before she got an answer, as Jolinar had put herself to sleep in order to ensure Sam as much privacy as possible, and not influence her decisions.
*Mmph...yes? What is it, Sam?*
*I...have decided I'd like to remain your host.*
*You are certain of this?* Jolinar sounded hopeful.
*Yes...yes, I am.* Sam answered, determined.
Jolinar embraced her happily. *Tonight we will blend fully, then!* She was quiet for a short time. *We should go and inform Martouf and Lantash. They will be pleased to hear you are going to stay my host!* Jolinar suddenly sounded worried. *I am assuming you will agree to be their mate? Or is that incorrect?*
Sam took a deep breath. *No...that is correct. I am still a little weirded out by suddenly having two mates - and starting to feel the way I do for them - but I think I want to be their...their mate...*
Jolinar was immensely relieved. *You must not worry. Tok'ra love as one. When we are fully blended, strong emotions will synchronize quickly.*
*I am not worried about that. Not really. I'm falling for them already - even though I don't usually fall in love this quickly...which is part of what's so strange... No, what worries me most is how they will feel. And I'm also a bit awkward around them, of course, though that's starting to pass. Well, somewhat...*
*I understand, but I do not believe you have reason to be concerned. They both expressed their wish to continue the relationship. They are mourning Rosha, and will for some time - as will I - but I am quite convinced they will come to love you. I know them well enough to be certain you are attractive to them, and you have many qualities they admire. It will not be a problem.*
*I hope you're right.* Sam said, still worried. *I guess we should go tell them, then,* she added.
"Samantha will remain your host?" Martouf repeated, immensely relieved his mate would not have to risk a dangerous change of hosts - if a suitable one could even be found.
"Yes. She has agreed." Jolinar smiled, then bowed her head, giving Sam control. *I think they would like your word for it.*
Sam smiled, feeling a little uncertain. Martouf was standing very close to her, looking intently at her. Realizing how she felt, he smiled back, reassuringly.
"Jolinar's right. I'd...like to continue being her host. I've grown to like her very much, and I'd miss her if she left me." She looked searchingly at his face. "It would have been dangerous for her to leave me?"
Martouf nodded. "Yes, she has changed host several times in less than a year. That is dangerous in itself. As is leaving a host without killing it. Lantash and I are grateful to you for sparing her this."
*Why didn't you tell me?* Sam scolded her symbiote. *I wouldn't have let you endanger yourself!*
*That was precisely why I did not inform you. Your choice should be your own, without pressure.*
*It should also be a choice taken with all the information available to me!* Sam was still angry at her.
*I apologize, but I did as I thought was best.*
Sam sighed, deciding to let it slide. Jolinar had done it with the best intentions.
Martouf waited patiently, realizing they were talking. When Sam looked up again, he gave her a wry smile.
"I take it my Jolinar had not told you of the danger."
"No. She hadn't."
He nodded. "She can be quite self-assured and determined - and she often takes unnecessary risks without thinking them through. She forgets she has friends and loved ones who would grieve, should something happen to her. She needs someone to remind her."
*What? I'm not like that! I do what needs to be done! And of course I think about my loved ones! Give me control!*
Sam laughed. "She didn't like that!"
Martouf smiled and put a hand on Sam's left arm. "Lantash and I believe you will be good for her." His smile became wider - and a little shy. "We also hope you will agree to be our mate. We do realize you need time to get to know us. While we want very much to continue our relationship with Jolinar, we will of course wait until you are ready."
Sam blushed. "Yeah...well...you may not have to wait too long..." She quickly dipped her head and asked Jolinar to take over, which she did, giving Sam a 'hug'.
*See? It will be all right!*
*Yes. I think you're right.* Sam felt relieved.
*May I kiss him?*
*Yes...Jolinar, I don't mind. Really.* Sam assured her. It was mostly the truth. Part of her still felt a bit awkward, part of her very much wanted to kiss Martouf.
Jolinar looked up, smiling at Martouf, who looked questioningly at her.
"Sam says she does not mind..."
She embraced Martouf and lifted her face to kiss him. She briefly noted the difference from Rosha. Then, she had been much smaller than Martouf. Now, she only had to reach up a little to kiss him.
Martouf smiled at her and put his arms around her as well. He pulled her closer and they kissed.
Sam's heart beat wildly as their lips met. Jolinar may be the one in control, but she could feel everything as if she was doing it herself.
Jolinar did not try to block her feelings this time, and Sam was overwhelmed by an intense love, which mingled with her own feelings. It was quite an intense experience and she suddenly wanted nothing more than to be with this man...men. She suddenly no longer felt like an intruder.
They continued kissing for some time, then Lantash took over. Sam sensed the subtle difference - and not just because Jolinar recognized it. It was surprising how the same lips could feel different, but they did. Martouf's kiss had been warm, sweet, and loving. Lantash's - while being equally as full of love - was much more passionate and deepened quickly. They were truly both different and the same.
Sam thought momentarily about her future. She looked forward to learning to know these men - her mates - better. Soon her thoughts blurred and she forget about everything else as the kiss continued and she felt Lantash's hand find its way under her shirt.