Signs You've Watched Too Much Stargate

• You start exclaiming, "Holy, Hannah!"
• You dress up mannequins like the members of SG1 and pretend to be General Hammond as you give them orders.
• You continually try to stab your friends with needles in order to cure them of 'alien infections' that they have picked up 'off-world.'
• You catch yourself responding "Jaaack" to an annoying co-worker whose name is actually Tim.
• You start singing "Row, row, row you boat" out of the blue.
• You begin claiming to know all the secrets of the universe and that your worst enemy is a Goa'uld.
• You shout "Kree!" when you want to get attention.
• You know the meaning of the word "Kree."
• You start screaming at your friends in Goa'uld when they've upset you, even though you don't understand half of what you're saying.
• You start screaming at your friends in Goa'uld when they've upset you, and you DO understand what you're saying.
• You do a double take every time you pass that same car with the gas tank lock that looks like the Stargate symbol for earth.
• You introduce yourself by saying, "I'm Daniel Jackson. This is Major Samantha Carter, Colonel Jack O'Neill..."
• Your response to most questions and statements is "Ya think?"
• You forced all your friends to watch Stargate DVD's with you and yelled at them when they looked away from the screen, telling them that they were, "Missing all the good parts!!"
• Your friends now all say they love Stargate, but you're not sure whether it's because of their actual love of the show or their fear of you forcing them to watch.
• Your new personal mission is to make Stargate fans out of your children's friends.
• You take up archeology so that you can discover some hidden Goa'uld technology.
• You begin calling every listing for Daniel Jackson and Jack O'Neill in the phonebook (starting in the state of Colorado), asking them what they know about the Stargate Program.
• You greet your co-workers by saying, "Good morning, campers!"
• Whenever you're confused, you respond with a raised eyebrow.
• You begin to understand the basics of astrophysics.
• A new employee or student arrives and you start following them around to make sure they're not a Goa'uld spy.
• You begin to think that the vitamins you're taking may have altered your memory.
• You prop a toothpick up on the inside of your door and a hair on the windowsill that you climb out of.
• You take apart your electrical appliances to make gemstones.
• You touch every mirror you see hoping to be transported to an alternate universe.
• You strap your VCR remote to your wrist and enter your 'IDC' every time you go through a door.
• You know the scientific explanation of an event horizon.
• You insist the television show is just a cover for the real thing.
• Your main ambition in life is to join the Stargate program.
• You go to court and have your family's names changed to Jack, Sam, Daniel, Teal'c and Janet.
• You name all your pets after the characters: Dr. Jackson, Dr. Fraiser, Major Carter, Col. O'Neill, Teal'c, and the bad cat next door that chases the birds after Hathor or any other Goa'uld.
• You paint all your phones red and when they rings, you answer by saying, "Yes, Mr. President?"
• You learn to read hieroglyphics so you can really understand what Daniel's talking about.
• While doing research on Egypt, you subconsciously correct the books as you read them, inserting what you know of the Goa'uld, the Asgard and the Ancients.
• You paint Stargate symbols around the rim of your Toilet seat to make it fun and exciting when you flush (Use of blue bleach optional).
• You attempt to heal friends, family, and co-workers with a brooch strapped to your hand.
• You think the St. Louis arch is really the top half of a giant Stargate sticking out of the ground and are lobbying Congress to dig the rest up and turn it on.
• You can tell what season of Stargate a rerun is from by the length of Major Carter's hair
• You play the Stargate drinking game (one drink every time Jack says "For crying out loud!", two drinks every time General Hammond calls somebody "Son," etc) at Stargate viewing parties.
• You go to Home Depot to buy all the parts you ned to make a mock Stargate and DHD with working lights.
• You find yourself looking for blue Jell-O in the cafeteria.
• You find an old nuclear bunker for sale and convert it into a "little" version of the SGC.
• You've written a script about SG-2 and are planning on making a movie with it.
• You call your living room "The SGC," and you've set it up with ten computers all running Stargate screensavers.
• You find sayings such as "for cryin' out loud," and "peachy," are slowly creeping into your every-day speech.
• You instantly consider anyone who watches Stargate a 'soul mate,' regardless of age, gender etc.
• You're positive your boss is Apophis in disguise.
• You suspect your best friend's been taken over by a Goa'uld when they exhibit mildly uncharacteristic behavior. ("No, it's not just a bad mood we need to get that thing out of you!")
• You find yourself lifting up peoples's shirts and looking at their bellies to see if they are Jaffa.
• You see someone acting suspicious and demand to know if they're Tok'ra or Goa'uld.
• You know the names of each of the symbols around the Stargate, and you know all of the known Point of Origin glyphs.
• You quote the eminent linguist, Dr. Daniel Jackson, in an English 101 term paper, just to see if your professor catches it. And when he does, you immediately sign up for the same teacher for the next semester, because now he's the coolest professor on campus in your humble opinion.
• You've become used to the weird looks you get in the store for shouting "Kree" at a pack of Jaffas. (Note: Only applies if you are in Australia.)
• You enter Goa'uld in a on-line dictionary or on search engine just for the hell of it.
• You greet people with "Comtraya" and a hand clap.
• Your spell checker recognizes words like Goa'uld, Teal'c and Tok'ra.
• You call people sir even though you know their name.
• When you're being ignored for unknown reasons (or probably because your friends disowned you), you run off looking for Daniel or an old guy named Nick with a crystal skull.
• Your parents are grounding you for attaching an iris to the toilet and refusing to open it without the proper GDO code.
• You're able to hum the theme song including every little dun dun, AND know on which emphasized note an actor's name pops up.
• You actually understood all of theses 'signs'.
• You accuse your cat of being a Goa'uld because her eyes "glow".
• You've created your own interpretive dance to the Stargate theme song.
• You call your friends 'Spacemonkey'.
• When someone knocks on your front door, you command your roommate/parter/kids to 'open the iris'.
• You've accidently addressed your friend Sam as 'Carter'.
• When your stomach grumbles, you decide it's time to feed Junior.
• Your friends give you strange looks when they think you're talking to the air, but you calmly explain that you're chatting with your pal Urgo.
• You make a trip to Disneyland solely because you've heard there's a guy who looks like Daniel working on the Indiana Jones ride
• For any conversation that isn't about Stargate, you find a way to work it in. IE: "Oh, you like vanilla ice cream? That reminds me of this one episode of Stargate where Machello..."
• You've written your own program to dial the gate.
• You officially changed your name to Lt. Colonel [NAME] of SG-1.
• Your ten year old doesn't know his alphabet but he can recite the entire credits of Stargate SG-1.
• You tear off strangers knit caps to make sure they're not a Jaffa.
• You and your family are well versed on what to do in case of Goa'uld attack.
• You accidently call your significant other Daniel, Jack, Teal'c, or Sam.
• You've skipped school or work to watch Stargate.
• You refer to yourself as a member of the Tau'ri.
• You speak Unas.
• When your best friend betrays you, you call her a Shol'va.
  
• You write a Goa'uld to English dictionary, and have published it on the internet.
• The word 'yes' has been replaced in your vocabulary with 'indeed'.
• Even though you're reading this list, you really believe that there is no way of watching too much Stargate.